🚻 ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD — VISITOR FACILITIES UPDATE

SKYE MOBILE PUBLIC TOILET PILOT - Following repeated concerns regarding public toilet provision across the island, a new mobile toilet service is to be trialled next summer. Rather than building additional permanent facilities, one fully equipped public toilet will travel around Skye according to visitor demand. Officials describe the scheme as: “Flexible, responsive sanitation infrastructure.” Locals have affectionately renamed it: “The bog on a bogie.” ….which upon reflection, the consultants have agreed is considerably more favourable than the previously proposed nickname: “The S*e Shuttle” Visitors will be able to track the facility using the new Skye Relief app, available on iOS and Android. Typical updates will include: PORTREE — 09:00 OLD MAN OF STORR — 10:30 FAIRY POOLS — 12:15 DUNVEGAN — 14:00 CURRENT LOCATION — SIGNAL LOST The toilet will remain at each location for approximately 20 minutes. Visitors are advised to arrive early. Preferably well before the toilet does. 🚻 BOOKING Standard access will remain free. A Premium Relief Package will also be available for £6.95. This includes: Priority “Fast-Track” queueing. Guaranteed 2-ply quilted toilet roll. And a text message approximately five minutes before the toilet leaves. Please note that receipt of the text message is dependent on mobile signal. So, essentially, good luck. 📍 LIVE TRACKING The app will display the toilet’s current location in real time. Early testing has revealed some minor issues. Yesterday it was shown simultaneously in Staffin, Kilmuir, Uig and somewhere in the Minch. Engineers are investigating. Meanwhile, the toilet itself was in Broadford. 🚌 HIGH DEMAND On cruise ship days, demand is expected to increase significantly. To manage this, the toilet will make additional stops in Portree. Current estimates suggest that 6,000 cruise passengers using one toilet at 90 seconds each could be processed in approximately six days. Cruise ships generally leave after eight hours. Consultants describe this as: “An opportunity to improve throughput.” 🚐 MOBILE SERVICE The vehicle will be clearly marked: SKYE MOBILE PUBLIC TOILET PLEASE DO NOT OVERTAKE Unfortunately, it is expected to travel at a maximum speed of around 27mph. This may create some confusion on the A87. Motorists stuck behind it are reminded that eventually everybody in the queue will be very grateful it exists. 🧻 MAINTENANCE The toilet will be cleaned and restocked daily. Additional toilet roll storage has been proposed. Unfortunately, this pushed the project beyond the original £2.8 million budget. A separate Toilet Roll Feasibility Study has therefore been commissioned. Donnie MacLeod suggested: “Could you no just put another packet in the van?” Donnie is no longer involved in procurement. 🚨 EMERGENCY USE If the facility is urgently required but currently on the other side of the island, visitors are advised to remain calm. Do not attempt to chase the toilet. Do not block passing places waiting for it. And please do not phone the Tourist Board asking: “Where is it now?” There’s a very good chance we don’t know either. The scheme will run throughout the summer before a full review is conducted. If successful, a second mobile toilet may be introduced in 2028. Subject to funding. Subject to demand. Subject to somebody finding the first one. - SKYE MOBILE PUBLIC TOILET "Coming soon. Possibly towards you." 😐🚻🏔️