ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD

MAJOR SPORTING ANNOUNCEMENT FORMULA ONE CIRCUIT PROPOSED FOR TROTTERNISH The Isle of Skye Tourist Board can confirm that preliminary discussions are under way regarding an ambitious proposal to bring Formula One motor racing to the Trotternish Peninsula. Under the plans, a new Highland Grand Prix would use a combination of upgraded public roads, specially constructed sections and several stretches which engineers initially assumed were already rally stages. The proposed event has the working title: THE ISLE OF SKYE GRAND PRIX Although Donnie has already ordered six caps saying “Trotternish F1” and is therefore resisting further consultation. THE CIRCUIT The proposed circuit would begin north of Portree before heading towards the Old Man of Storr, continuing through Staffin and around sections of Trotternish before returning south. Drivers would experience: • high-speed straights • severe elevation changes • blind crests • Atlantic crosswinds • sheep • tourists suddenly braking because they have seen the Old Man of Storr Formula One officials described the route as “technically demanding”. Three local delivery drivers described it as just a normal Tuesday. THE QUIRAING SECTION The most challenging part of the circuit is expected to be near the Quiraing. Engineers suggested widening several sections of road. This proposal was withdrawn after somebody explained the geology. Instead, drivers will simply have to concentrate. A temporary passing place may be installed for overtaking. Race Control has expressed concerns that this is not normally how Formula One works. We have explained that it is how Trotternish works. DRS Traditional Formula One DRS zones are expected to be replaced by the Skye Overtaking Opportunity System. When the vehicle in front enters a passing place, the following driver may proceed. A small wave of acknowledgement will be compulsory. Failure to give the wee wave will result in a five-second penalty and considerable local disapproval. PIT LANE A new pit complex is proposed near Staffin. Teams will have approximately two seconds to change four tyres. Local crofters have questioned why it takes that long. Donnie says he changed a wheel on a livestock trailer in 1987 using a bottle jack, two stones and “something off a Massey”. Formula One has declined his application to join Ferrari. THE WEATHER Organisers have been advised that conditions may change rapidly during the race. It is therefore entirely possible for one end of the circuit to be dry, another wet, another in fog and a fourth experiencing weather not yet recognised by the Met Office. Teams will be permitted: Soft tyres Medium tyres Hard tyres Wet tyres Intermediate tyres And, following consultation with residents: “Whatever you’ve got in the shed.” SAFETY CAR A conventional Formula One safety car will be available. However, organisers acknowledge that traffic may already be slowed naturally by: • campervans • sheep • tractors • cyclists • somebody doing 27mph while filming the scenery through the windscreen Should this occur, race officials may simply declare the safety car already deployed. THE SHEEP Livestock remain one of the outstanding regulatory issues. Formula One requested complete fencing of the circuit. Several sheep have objected. Current proposals would give livestock priority at designated crossing points, although explaining the concept of designated crossing points to sheep has made limited progress. Donnie believes his flock can be trained. Nobody else does. SPECTATOR AREAS Grandstands are proposed at several locations. Premium tickets will include views of both the race and the scenery. Standard tickets will include whichever is visible through the cloud. A special “Authentic Highland Experience” ticket will offer: • standing on wet grass • horizontal drizzle • no mobile signal • a cup of tea from a van • somebody beside you saying, “You should’ve seen it yesterday.” This is expected to sell out first. PARKING Approximately 80,000 spectators could attend race weekend. Parking provision remains under discussion. The current proposal is: Broadford. Shuttle buses will be provided eventually. MOTORHOMES Motorhomes will not be permitted onto the racing circuit during competitive sessions. This clarification has been included following experience. There will, however, be a ceremonial motorhome lap on Friday morning. Estimated lap time: 3 hours 47 minutes. Longer if somebody sees a Highland cow. LOCAL DRIVER WILDCARD Organisers are considering allowing one local driver to compete as a wildcard entry. Applicants must demonstrate: • knowledge of every passing place • ability to reverse around a blind corner • complete indifference to sheep • confidence driving in horizontal rain • ability to identify a tourist who is about to stop without indicating At present, seventeen people from Staffin appear overqualified. DONNIE Donnie has offered his field for helicopter parking, hospitality, overflow parking, media operations and “anything involving money”. He has also proposed entering his David Brown tractor. Officials explained that Formula One cars can exceed 200mph. Donnie replied: “Not behind a caravan they can’t.” Discussions continue. ECONOMIC BENEFIT The event could bring significant international attention and investment to Skye. Hotels, restaurants and local businesses are expected to benefit considerably. The Co-op has begun ordering extra sandwiches and tins of Monster. This is generally considered the first serious indication that the project may actually happen. The inaugural Isle of Skye Grand Prix is provisionally scheduled for 2029. Subject to planning. Subject to funding. Subject to Formula One approval. Subject to the roads. Subject to the sheep. And, obviously, subject to weather. ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD “Bringing Formula One to the Highlands. Eventually. Behind a tractor.” #isleofskyetouristboard #skye #visitscotland