ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD – VISITOR GUIDANCE No.60

THE CEILIDH Visitors to Skye may occasionally be invited to a ceilidh. This is a traditional Scottish social gathering involving music, dancing, whisky and a gradual deterioration in everybody’s understanding of clockwise. No previous dancing experience is required. This is fortunate. ▪️BEFORE YOU BEGIN A ceilidh normally appears harmless. There will be a band. There will be chairs around the edge of the room. There may be tea. Do not be reassured by any of this. Within forty minutes, somebody’s auntie will have you by the wrist and you’ll be travelling diagonally across the hall at considerable speed. ▪️FOOTWEAR Sensible shoes are strongly recommended. High heels may look appropriate at 7pm. By 10.15pm they will normally be under a chair beside someone’s handbag. Flip-flops are unsuitable. Walking boots offer excellent ankle support but can become offensive weapons during Strip the Willow. Choose carefully. ▪️CHOOSING A PARTNER You may arrive with a partner. This does not mean you will remain with them. Scottish country dancing operates on a system of rapid redistribution. Within minutes you may find yourself holding hands with: Your husband. Someone else’s husband. An elderly woman called Morag. A German tourist. A farmer from Dunvegan. A child who understands the dance considerably better than you do. Do not resist. The system usually returns everybody eventually. ▪️THE DANCE CALLER Most ceilidhs have somebody who explains the dance beforehand. Listen carefully. They will say things like: “First couples cross, cast off, four hands round, set twice, then back to places.” You will nod. You will understand none of it. This is normal. Watch the locals. Preferably not the ones who have already been at the whisky. ▪️THE DASHING WHITE SERGEANT This begins pleasantly. Three people stand together. Everyone smiles. There is gentle music. Approximately ninety seconds later, you will be rotating between strangers while attempting to remember whether you are supposed to turn right, left or apologise. If unsure, keep moving. Confidence can conceal a great deal. ▪️THE GAY GORDONS Relatively straightforward. This is why it is often introduced early in the evening, before the whisky has begun making structural alterations to the room. If you lose the steps, simply continue in roughly the same direction as everyone else. Do not stop suddenly. There may be thirty people behind you. ▪️STRIP THE WILLOW This requires separate guidance. Strip the Willow is less a dance and more a controlled Highland incident. Participants form long lines before being rotated through an increasing number of human beings at speeds not normally associated with traditional culture. Visitors should remove loose jewellery. Secure glasses. Empty overloaded sporrans. And make peace with their shoulders. At some point you may briefly achieve flight. This is not part of the official choreography. ▪️WHISKY A dram before dancing may improve confidence. A second may improve rhythm. A third may create the belief that you have improved rhythm. These are not the same thing. Visitors are advised to identify the designated driver before proceedings begin. Do not allow the designated driver to leave the room unattended while coats are being collected. We have covered this before. ▪️CEILIDH BAND SPEED The band will appear to notice when everyone is becoming tired. They will then play faster. This is traditional. Do not ask them to slow down. They can smell weakness. ▪️THE ELDERLY LOCALS Do not assume older dancers require assistance. That quiet 78-year-old lady sitting beside the wall may shortly complete Strip the Willow without losing breath, while you require water, a chair and several minutes to reconsider your lifestyle. Treat experience with respect. She has been doing this since before you had knees. ▪️PHOTOGRAPHS Pictures taken before the ceilidh will show: Neat hair. Proper clothing. Straight ties. Dignity. Pictures taken after midnight may show: Shoes missing. Kilts at unusual angles. Hair affected by weather despite being indoors. Somebody holding a fiddle they do not own. A man called Alasdair asleep beneath three coats. This is normal progression. ▪️WHEN SOMEONE SAYS “ONE MORE” There is no such thing as “one more” at a ceilidh. “One more” may mean: One more dance. One more dram. One more tune. One more hour. Visitors with early ferry bookings should act accordingly. ▪️INJURIES Minor injuries may include: Bruised toes. Pulled shoulders. Blisters. Temporary loss of orientation. Sporran-related impact damage. More serious cases may involve discovering muscles you were previously unaware you owned. Most symptoms resolve within 48 hours. Pride may take longer. ▪️LEAVING The correct time to leave a ceilidh is approximately forty-five minutes before you actually manage to leave. Allow time for: Finding coats. Finding partners. Finding somebody else’s coat. Returning somebody else’s coat. Being offered another dram. Standing at the door talking for twenty minutes. Being told to “take care on the road”. Being offered another dram because you are still there. ▪️FINAL GUIDANCE Do not worry about getting every step right. Nobody expects you to. Join in. Listen to the caller. Laugh when it goes wrong. Keep moving. And if you suddenly find yourself spinning through a village hall at midnight holding hands with three people you met ten seconds ago: Congratulations. You’re doing it properly. - ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD "Helping visitors discover that 'just watching' was never really an option."