ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD - VISITOR GUIDANCE No.31

CAMPING ON THE ISLE OF SKYE Official Guidance for Visitors Experiencing Prolonged Exposure to Scotland The Isle of Skye Tourist Board welcomes visitors who choose to experience our magnificent island through the traditional practice of sleeping in a tent. Camping offers a unique opportunity to reconnect with nature, enjoy spectacular scenery, breathe fresh Highland air and discover precisely how much water a sleeping bag can absorb before it becomes structurally unsound. While Skye enjoys some of the finest scenery in the World, visitors should be aware that much of it is occasionally concealed for its own protection. The following guidance has been prepared to assist campers in making the most of their stay. 1. SELECTING YOUR CAMPSITE Choose a level, sheltered location with good drainage and magnificent views. Please note that a sheltered location on Skye is generally somewhere the wind has not yet discovered. Avoid pitching your tent in a hollow, as these can become temporary lochs overnight. If ducks arrive on the second morning, consider moving. 2. UNDERSTANDING THE WEATHER FORECAST Visitors should familiarise themselves with the principal Highland weather categories: • Rain • Heavy rain • Rain with wind • Wind with rain • A brighter spell, which you have missed • Tomorrow looks promising The final category should not be used when making important decisions. 3. THE MISSING MOUNTAINS Many visitors choose to camp on Skye for uninterrupted views of the Cuillin. Should you wake to find the mountains missing, please remain calm. They are almost certainly still there. There is no need to contact Mountain Rescue unless you can establish that they have moved. On departure day, the entire ridge may become visible approximately eleven minutes after you have packed the tent into the car. This is normal. 4. INTERNAL TENT REGULATIONS Under no circumstances should campers touch the inside of a wet tent. This includes elbows, shoulders, sleeping bags, children, dogs and anyone attempting to change their trousers. One accidental brush against the canvas may result in a localised weather event directly above your pillow. Experienced Highland campers can get dressed lying horizontally without touching anything. It is not an attractive process. 5. THE WET BOOT PROCEDURE All footwear must be removed before entering the tent. The approved technique involves balancing on one foot, removing the opposite boot, placing the dry sock inside the tent and repeating the procedure without allowing either foot to touch the ground. Visitors successfully completing this manoeuvre should resist the temptation to celebrate. The remaining boot is usually full of water. 6. THE TOILET BLOCK EXPEDITION During prolonged rainfall, visits to the campsite toilet block should be planned with the seriousness of a mountain expedition. Before departure, ensure somebody knows your intended route and estimated time of return. A headtorch is recommended. A change of socks is essential. If your tent is beside the toilet block, this does not mean you will return dry. It merely means you will return wet sooner. 7. FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT The Tourist Board recommends Monopoly as a suitable activity during extended periods of rainfall. Games should commence on the first wet afternoon and continue until the weather improves or somebody loses their temper. Where a game remains unfinished overnight, sleeping bags should be arranged around the board. Do not allow children to disturb the hotels on Mayfair. Their grandparents have been building that property portfolio since Tuesday. 8. DRINKING WATER COLLECTION The campsite water tap may be situated only a short distance from your tent. Nevertheless, somebody must go. The person announcing that the kettle is empty should not automatically be excused from fetching water on the grounds that they have already made a contribution. This matter has caused considerable tension in Highland families. The Tourist Board recommends drawing lots. Donnie recommends sending the youngest. Murdo says the youngest is now 46 and should have bought his own kettle by this stage. 9. MIDGE MANAGEMENT Tent doors must remain securely closed at all times. Campers should enter and exit quickly, preferably in a single movement. Unfortunately, midges have developed considerable expertise in this procedure and will generally enter at the same time. Do not attempt to remove individual midges from the tent. By the time you have dealt with one, the others will have established a breeding programme. Citronella candles may be used where appropriate, although attempting to light one outside in horizontal rain can become a full evening’s entertainment. 10. MANAGING FAMILY MORALE After the fourth consecutive day of rain, visitors may notice a change in family conversation. Common early indicators include: “Is that the rain easing?” “I think it’s a bit brighter over there.” “Did anyone bring another towel?” “Whose socks are these?” “WE ARE NOT GOING HOME EARLY.” These are normal responses to prolonged Highland camping and should not cause alarm. If somebody suggests going for a scenic drive, this generally means they wish to sit somewhere dry without admitting defeat. 11. DRYING EQUIPMENT Wet clothing should be hung somewhere warm and well ventilated. As neither condition is guaranteed in a tent on Skye, visitors may have to improvise. The traditional Highland method involves suspending socks from every available surface and checking them periodically for signs of progress. After three days, they will be slightly warmer. 12. DEPARTURE DAY Visitors should allow additional time to pack their tent. A tent that occupied one small bag on arrival may require three bags, a roof box and a firm conversation with whoever bought it. Please do not attempt to fold wet canvas precisely as shown in the manufacturer’s instructions. Those instructions were written somewhere else. Upon returning home, the tent should be unpacked and dried thoroughly. Failure to do so may result in a small but perfectly functioning Skye ecosystem developing in the garage. - FINAL ADVICE FROM THE TOURIST BOARD Despite the occasional rainfall, midges, wet socks and temporary loss of mountain scenery, camping on Skye remains one of the finest ways to experience the Highlands. Many visitors return year after year, bringing their children, grandchildren and increasingly sophisticated waterproof clothing. Some of the happiest family memories are made while sitting in a tent listening to the rain, playing cards, sharing a cup of tea and wondering whether the weather might clear tomorrow. And sometimes it does. For seven minutes. Donnie says camping on Skye is a wonderful way to get close to nature. Murdo says he got close to nature in 1976. Nature came through the tent roof. He’s booked a B&B ever since. - ISLE OF SKYE TOURIST BOARD "Camping on Skye. Come for the scenery. Stay because the tent won’t dry.”